Selected

It's not quite 'Fall down seven times, get up eight,' but maybe this is around my fifth 'get up,' haha. Something new I tried got selected. I'm happy. I'll tell you more about the work and the exhibition later.

When I give my all, I always feel a pang when I'm not selected. But I don't reflect. It's meaningless. Meeting the right people is the only way to get selected (if you give your all, that is).

Perhaps the path always seems 'far away.' Once selected, the sense of distance disappears immediately. That's why I keep moving forward.

Every time I'm not selected, I don't tell myself 'I'll still keep going without giving up.' But I find myself naturally not quitting. New ideas for what I want to do keep coming to mind. It's an endless game. And then, only after being selected, I think, 'Ah, I'm not quitting this.'

Whatever happens, it will happen for that person, or it won't happen, for their true needs.

But what are 'needs'? That's difficult. If I were to declare beforehand, 'I absolutely need to win this contest!', that's just 'desire.' Ten times out of nine, things that are 'needed' don't happen due to 'desire,' especially in my case.

It's been like this before. 'Needs' are only felt after everything has happened. Winning an award in NYC, being invited to Mexico, being invited to Sicily. All of it becomes clear 'gradually' afterward. I realize, 'Ah, all of that was necessary for my life.'

I'm happy to be selected this time, but it feels different from before. I'm not celebrating with wine or anything; I'll just calmly take another step forward. Will I fall again? That's fine; I'll realize later that even that was 'necessary.' Yes, step by step, I'll make an effort to meet the people I'm supposed to meet, and somehow, I'll just keep doing what I don't quit.

(I'll announce the exhibition details later. Please come see it!)