I think I was mistaken.
It is just a series of working hard with no results to show for it. Even if I ponder whether there is something wrong with how I'm trying hard, there is no correct answer. Anyway, it's about taking on challenges... Ever since I jumped into a completely unknown world, I've truly been plunging my hand into the dark, feeling around hoping there is some "good thing or opportunity" there. Living every day with such feelings and actions, honestly, I think I've been doing this for years, clinging to the nameless, heartfelt wish and prayer that "today of all days, please let it be a good day."
I think I was wrong.
It was me who created the simplistic equation: not lucky = bad day.
It was me who created the days that weren't good days.
It was me who nurtured the feeling of finding it troublesome.
I realized.
A good day is not just saying "life has both bad and good things" on the surface,
but a day when you are truly, deeply able to accept it from the bottom of your heart.
When you feel that ability to truly feel from the bottom of your heart,
you even come to feel proud of it.
And at that moment, that "now" becomes the best "now",
I realized that.