How to Lose Your Temper (COACHING)

In recent years, terms like ANGER MANAGEMENT have become widespread, and in a world where all instances of losing one's temper are labeled as "evil"... this is a story about that.

It happened one morning. My wife (a foreigner) walks our daughter to a nearby school every morning. And every morning, I see a group of neighborhood children flocking around her. For some reason, most of them are girls. There is one older boy among them. On that "one morning," this boy was probably irritated about something and kicked a smaller girl. The morning air suddenly became gloomy, and the other girls were so surprised they started crying.

At the same time, my wife exclaimed, "What are you doing?!" (Her Sicilian blood was boiling, lol). The boy talked back, and my wife got even angrier, saying, "How dare you speak to me like that?!" A foreign adult, protecting neighborhood children while scolding them on the way to school – quite an unusual scene. Human life in 2024 still has its moments, doesn't it? Lol

Thinking about this

Getting furious for someone else, an adult's spontaneous outburst of rage is a must. In dangerous or unfair situations, if adults were to give lengthy, logical explanations on the spot, many incidents might remain unresolved. A quick reaction can avert danger and resolve many issues. (There are also adults who act like foolish children, which contributes to the chaos of the world... but that's another story.)

So, what constitutes a bad outburst? I don't know what's good or bad, and I'm not that arrogant. However, there is a criterion for judging whether the outcome is futile.

"Getting angry and flying into a rage because things aren't going your way." This is a futile zone. I saw this often when I lived in Hawaii. Parents losing their temper at malls, beaches, or parks. While there are many Japanese people in Hawaii, it's more foreign than you might expect, and things, including language, don't always go as planned. Parents, frustrated by this, desperately lash out at their children, trying to control them. Against the backdrop of beautiful seas, sun, and rainbows, Japanese parents often erupt in anger. It's quite a sight. (I understand this well, as I was raised that way myself; it's quite an experience.)

I belong to a university sports team, and a certain player asked me, "I get frustrated when my play isn't going well, but what is ANGER MANAGEMENT?" I see. In today's world where people are conscious of others' eyes, where parents don't get angry, and where people offer a helping hand before they fall, and where fights where teammates grab each other by the collar are rare... considering all that, I understand why he'd think that. However, I jokingly replied, "Recognizing that I'm really angry and being angry is also ANGER MANAGEMENT (lol). Let your angry shouts reach the heavens! ... The reason people who get angry and cause problems these days cause problems is because they reach a state where they don't even realize they're angry. Do you understand the difference? (lol)"

I believe that the goal of ANGER MANAGEMENT is not to completely suppress anger.

How do we best express ourselves as human beings? I worry that if one of the four emotions (joy, anger, sorrow, pleasure) is missing, we are incomplete as humans. Therefore, it's not a choice between "to do" and "not to do," but a choice of "how." For example, the necessity of a sudden burst of rage to protect someone... isn't that okay? I think so. I'll continue to think about it.

PS. People who get angry while laughing remind me of Naoto Takenaka's gags. Paradox, I like it. The picture I drew thinking about this was a smiling angry Tengu.